i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
Randomize