Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
Randomize
