its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
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