Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
