My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
Randomize
