he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
there was a trapeze. enough said
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
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