I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
Randomize
