I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
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