i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
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