i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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