I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
