she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
Come see our sink grown plant.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
Randomize
