Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
Randomize
