I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Randomize
