No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
Randomize
