Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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