So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
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