Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
Im part way to drunk.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize
