After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
Randomize
