in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
I just googled if crying burns calories
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
Can you bring me the toilet please
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
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