If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
