yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Randomize
