girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize