whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
Randomize
