Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
We need a shit load of segways right now
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
Randomize
