We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
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