i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
