I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Randomize
