yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
