dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Randomize
