When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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