On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
