her vagine was all disorganized.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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