My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
