State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
Randomize
