Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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