Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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