not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
