This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
the liver wants what the liver wants
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
Randomize