Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
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