Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize
