your parents love me but you hate me
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
he fucked my hip out of place.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
