the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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