Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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