I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Randomize
