those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
Randomize
