Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
I have peed in a lot of sinks
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
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