Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
i'm signing you up for texting rehab
sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
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