the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Randomize
