His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize