It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
