It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
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