so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
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