so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
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