i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
